For all the dogs who've touched our hearts

Being Human in a House with Dogs

You do your best to be a great guardian for your dog, but sometimes you let yourself down - and that's okay.

Sometimes it's not easy

It's 8am. I’ve fed the dogs, opened the house, my coffee is brewing. My family is asleep and the neighbourhood is quiet.

I’m tired because Rumble woke me up several times during the night. I make a note to book him in for that ultrasound the vet recommended. His latest blood work came back with an “anomaly”.

Merlin comes upstairs and rubs his long nose against the couch. He loves to do this and his pleasure makes me smile. I am grateful that it isn’t raining. If it was I would need to walk him so he can toilet, Merlin is afraid of the rain.

Bonnie relaxes beside me in a fluffy cloud of fur.

I settle down to work on my latest blog.

Birds stir in the valley, sending out a loud repeating call of alarm. Bonnie flies off the couch and runs barking to the back yard. Merlin and Rumble join her ready to ward off the evil doer lurking in the garden.

Their voices are loud in the still morning air.

I get up and grab a handful of food, open the door and call out “Enough”. They stop barking and run to the lawn, waiting while I say “good dogs” and scatter a handful of food for them to snuffle up.

Usually this is enough to restore peace, but the evil doer is persistent and the birds keep shouting their alarm. After interrupting 3 times, I go outside and call the dogs into the house.

Not much progress has been made on the blog.

I sigh and sit down to start work again. My coffee is cooling on the table. I take a few sips and read what I have written.

Merlin moves to the glass door and taps to go out. I open it and sit back down.

Rumble barks downstairs, what is he needing now? I wait to see if he barks again. He doesn’t, so I continue reading.

Bonnie is resting in the sun behind me.

On the deck Merlin leaps to his feet and barks, rushing around with his tail and head held high. Bonnie joins him, running and barking.

I call out “Enough” and head to the kitchen for a handful of food when they quiet. This time I ask them to wait and sprinkle the food in a snuffle mat.

Rumble barks downstairs.

I grab my cold coffee and heat it in the microwave before trying once again to work. I frown, this blog is tricky.

Merlin has finished his snuffling and taps on the glass door to go out. I really need to write so I quietly say “no”. I have taught this as a cue, but not well enough so Merlin whines and bangs harder.

My patience snaps.

“Oh for god’s sake Merlin shut up! I’m not letting you out! I need to get this done!”

Merlin turns, looks at me for a moment and goes downstairs.

I. Feel. So. Bad.

Sometimes we make mistakes

Training dogs with kindness, and teaching others to do the same is my life’s goal. What a hypocrite I am! What a fraud!

I should have let him out… I should have turned the radio on…. I should have…

The nasty little voice berates me without mercy until I remember to stop and breathe.

Breathe and be calm, breathe and be calm…

The truth is I am human and I am imperfect. I have days where my patience frays and I am not the best me I can be.

It is great to set high standards, but we shouldn’t use those standards to batter ourselves. That doesn’t help anyone.

We all have moments like this. The fact we have these standards means our humanity will inevitably let us down. If we were trainers who used aversive and punitive methods, we wouldn’t think twice about yelling at our dogs and we wouldn’t blame ourselves if our dogs did things that were, well, doggy.

I would love it if I could be the perfect human and the perfect trainer. Never erring, always patient, calm and wise… but no, If I dig deep I have to admit I value the passion and the fire that comes from a wild and messy life. The ups and downs, the learning and growing, the insight and depth that comes from living.

We love that our dogs are quirky and playful. We love that they express themselves with ease. We love that they can only ever be exactly who they are.

Sometimes that's hard to live with

So while I’ll take different steps the next time the dogs are restless, I will remember that I am human with all its faults and imperfections. I set standards I sometimes can’t live up to and will not always be the best me I can be.

And that's okay.

Life with dogs is messy, weird and unpredictable – that’s what makes it fun!