For all the dogs who've touched our hearts

Hope, my dog has cancer

A personal post on learning my dog has cancer, and all the mucky feelings that come with it

My dog has cancer

This morning I learned my beautiful Rumble has cancer. Tomorrow he'll be put under general anaesthetic and have the cancerous lump removed. Tears are leaking out of my eyes. Even when I'm not thinking about it they come.

What the future holds for Rumble is uncertain; maybe he'll have an open wound for a month or so and no further issues, maybe he'll lose his foot or maybe his leg. Maybe he'll lose his life. Right now he is asleep in his bed happy and comfortable, while I cry.

This is how it is with dogs. They live for now always in the present while we hypothesise, imagine and dread. That's who we are and in some ways it is our responsibility. That's how we can care for them.

Choosing to add a dog to your family is choosing to deal with death and the pain that goes with it because dogs don’t live as long as we do. For those of us who get really, really attached to our dogs this pain doesn’t go away. It's eleven years after my heart dog Snuffy passed and I still cry when thinking about him.

When my feisty tiny terrier Scallywag was diagnosed with chronic heart failure, I found myself withdrawing emotionally. The thought that she may only live another 18 months and that I would have to deal with her death, caused walls to grip inside. However four years later she's still going strong and the numbness was worse than the fear of her death so I let go. A life only half felt is only half lived.

Dogs give us a great gift in this way; the joys of the moment always.

So today I cry. And tomorrow I'll cry. And then I'll see. I need to cry in order to feel. No walling up of emotions. I'll also walk and play and laugh as that's what Rumble needs. And what I need. It's so important to enjoy the fun and special moments while they're around.

Short lives lived to the fullest.